Potty Training A Monkey

Even before my Monkey turned 2 years old she was showing signs of wanting to use the potty chair. She liked to sit and sit and sit on the potty, reading, singing etc. But as soon as she had to pee she got scared and screamed for the diaper. There was a few times she went in her chair, but only because she didn't want to pee on the floor. I did have high hopes that she would be an early potty-trainee, but knew I would not let this become a stressor for me. At one point she decided she didn't even want to go in the bathroom without her clothes, which made bath times a little difficult. We had to put on her water diapers just so she would take a bath. After that we decided to put the potty chair away for a while, because I didn't want to terrify her to potty.

Now she is two and a half and knew she was ready to get trained. We have been very lax up to this point, but I felt it was about time. So after spending hours and hours reading discussion boards and professional opinions I made a plan. For Thanksgiving weekend we were going to go into full blown potty training mode. I decided to tell Monkey several days before the weekend that when we run out of diapers there would be no more. Every day I would remind her of our plan.

So when Monkey woke up Thanksgiving morning I took her diaper off and said no more. I sat her down and explained to her why it is soooo important for everyone to go potty in the toilet. When we flush the toilet, the potty we put in there goes out to the lakes, rivers and oceans and gives the little fishies water to swim in. And it is really important to go poopie in the toilet, because that is what the fishies eat for dinner. We have to take care of all the fish; we don't want them to starve. (Now when we flush the toilets we have to yell "Save the Fishies!"

To prepare for this new adventure of potty training, I rolled up the carpet in the living room, lined the couch with towels, and placed the little potty chair in the middle of the living room on top of a towel. We picked up all the books, toys, and blankets and moved everything else we wouldn't want Monkey pee on.

The first time Monkey had to pee that morning she screamed for her diaper, I showed her the potty chair and told her she can go potty there. I informed her that if she didn't go potty in her chair that she would pee all over the floor. There was crying and screaming involved, and she was very reluctant, but she sat down and peed in the potty. She cried the whole time, and I sat right next to her rubbing her back. When she was done Daddy and I made a huge deal. Big celebration! She helped me dump the potty into the toilet and flush it away. She waved at the potty as it was going down and said "bye bye potty." The very next time she had to go potty, there was minimal crying, and more excitement than anything. She announced to the world she went potty. We even called grandma to tell her all about it.

That evening we had the in-laws over for Thanksgiving dinner. Monkey seemed pretty uncomfortable when they showed up so I put a dress on her and her dora underwear (hoping she wouldn't think it felt like a diaper.) She did Wonderful! While the family was there I think she went potty in her potty chair like 5 times. We did have one mini accident where she peed a little on the floor, but really, only one accident the very first day of potty training? I'll take that.

We went the entire rest of the weekend mostly bottomless (just Monkey, not myself). We even took a trip to Grandma's house, and she pottied like a rock star there too. I tell you what, this was one proud Mommy.

One month later we are going strong. Less than a handful of accidents, and two of those she was waiting to use that bathroom at daycare (holding it is difficult for anyone, let alone a two year old), so we try not to count that one. She still uses a pull-up at nap time and for bed time, but I won't focus on that till I believe her body can physically hold it through the night. Wish us luck, but so far so good.

Christmas as an Emet

During the Christmas holiday, most people relate this time to family, food, gifts and stress. But for an Emetophobia it also correlates with germs, sick people, and possible foodborne illnesses. Winter season is not the greatest time for an Emet in the first place, because this is the time of year of the Norovirus. The Norovirus is what most people call the Stomach Flu, which is not a flu at all. And during the Holiday season it is even worse. Large amounts of people crammed into tiny living rooms, sharing the same air.

Well on Saturday we had Christmas with my husbands side of the family; which is usually about 30 plus people. That morning I read on Facebook that one of his cousins was sick and she wasn't going to be able to see everyone she was planning to for Christmas. I of course had a mini freakout. It didn't even say what she was sick with, but I assumed the worst. She's always at Christmas, plus she has two kids as well. I ask myself "What if she's throwing up? What if it's contagious? What if she comes? What if her kids are there?" Well, I tried my hardest to not think about it and went to Christmas keeping my fears to myself. Who shows up an hour later? Her two children. They were picked up by one of her sisters. She was at home throwing up with diarrhea (yuck), but they said she might come a little later. What?... Come later? I tell you what, I was not a happy camper. I did not let my 2 1/2 year old play anywhere near those kids, nor did I, and I watched those kids like a hawk. I could tell you every toy they played with, every chair they touched and every person they hugged. Of course my hubby asked me what my deal was, so I told him. He knows about my phobia, and he understands the extent, but he still thinks I'm a little nuts. Turns out though, after I did a little extra investigating, the sick one was out till 3 in the morning maybe having a little too much fun, and even her sister wasn't really sure she was actually "sick". I tell you what, as soon as I heard that, even if it wasn't the truth, I tried to believe it anyways. It was like a light switch turned on and I was no longer afraid. I let my daughter play freely, I ate an almost normal meal and somewhat had a good time (for being the in-law Christmas anyways). She did end up coming, and told everyone it was little 24 hour bug, but who drinks a red bull hours after a stomach bug?

Ah, this phobia sucks, but I do believe that I can get a handle on this and not let it control every part of my life. And for all family members I talk about, I love you all, never mean to offend any of you, I just need to put my stories out there for everyone else to enjoy as well.

Early Bedtime for Emets

To my fellow Emetophobia sufferers, I know you'll understand this one.  Tonight at 8:30 in the evening, once I put my Monkey to bed, I thought to myself  "hey, the hubby is working tonight, maybe I should go to bed early and get some nice extra sleep." But as soon as I had that thought pop in my head I panicked. Why you may ask? Any Emet would probably be able to answer that question for you, but I will explain. When someone is going to get sick, they tend to get really tired prior to it, and usually go to bed early. Then wake up in the middle of the night puking their brains out. I have seen this many of times, and shit, it just happened to my hubby only a month ago. He, on the other hand, decided it was a better idea to go out with his friends to the bar. Ask him how well that turned out? 

Now these thoughts I had tonight are obviously very irrational. I wasn't even tired, I just thought I didn't have anything else to do, so why not go to bed. But like I mentioned before, I panicked before I could even finish my thoughts. I panicked that maybe it was a sign I was going to get sick, maybe I shouldn't have eaten that taco bar at the restaurant tonight (even though I always told myself I would never eat a taco bar in my life.) Oh no, now I'm burping the shit up. Now I have stomach cramps. There is no way I am going to bed early tonight, I am not going to let myself get sick.

Why in the world would I let these irrational thoughts take control of my night? That question I cannot answer. But the more I discuss or write about these phobic thoughts and actions, the more I am understanding they come from a specific part of the brain. I am understanding they are irrational thoughts. Understanding these thoughts come to my brain before I can even explain to myself the reality of things. Now all I need to do is figure out a way to intercept these thoughts before my body can react with fear. Anybody know of a cheap therapist?

Anyways, I wasn't planning on posting tonight, but since those thoughts popped into my head just 15 minutes ago, I thought I'd write about them while it's all still fresh on my brain. Wish me luck on sleeping tonight.

Meet Mr. Emet

Growing up I was for the most part a pretty normal kid (no comments are necessary).  I did always know there was something different, and I noticed it more in my late teens and early twenties. At the time I didn’t know it had a name, but I’ve always struggled with Emetophobia. By definition, “Emetophobia is an intense, irrational fear or anxiety pertaining to vomiting. And this specific phobia can also include subcategories of what causes the anxiety, including a fear of vomiting in public, a fear of seeing vomit, a fear of watching the action of vomiting or fear of being nauseated.” The key word in that definition is irrational. It may be tough for some to understand this phobia because nobody “likes” vomit, seeing it or doing it. But for the many struggling from Emetophobia, it’s way more than just “not liking” it. It is an uncontrollable reaction. And if someone were to ask me why I’m afraid of vomit, I would have to say I have no idea. I truly know that talking or hearing about someone being sick, seeing it, or getting sick myself, will not kill me. But in the subconscious part of my brain it triggers a terrible fear which causes anxiety.

Now I am a pretty laid back person. I don’t stress about much, and it takes a lot to get me worked up or upset about something, but you throw in something regarding nausea or vomiting, I’m the girl hiding in a separate room shaking so crazy you wouldn’t recognize me. Most of the time, I can keep a good handle on my anxiety related to this topic, but not all the time. I have spent countless hours up all night pacing the hall and bathroom “thinking” I was going to get sick, but in reality, it was a little bubble in my tummy, or an extra gurgle in my throat, which causes the anxiety attack, which causes me to get nauseous and feel really sick. This phobia is the only thing that causes me anxiety, but it was enough to force me to take daily anti-anxiety/depression pills, including pills to take during an anxiety attack.

To try and compare something to this, have you ever watched a very terrifying movie and after it was done you may have laughed it off, but when it gets dark out you hear a strange noise and you freaked out? Shaking uncontrollably and all you want to do is go hide under your bed. Don’t lie; at one point in your life you have experienced fear like that. This is the type of fear I experience, but the difference between that fear and the fear of vomiting is that you can run and hide from most fears, but vomit is a bodily function. 

When I started working at the job I currently have, which was a little over three years ago, the very first day on the job I of course had to ask where the bathrooms were at. Well low and behold our little office didn't have their own bathrooms. They were outside our office down the hall where three other businesses also share the bathrooms. The biggest problem, they were public! So not only are these bathrooms used by the employees of the businesses on this floor, but all their customers/clients can use them as well. Now you might be saying to yourself, "what's the big deal, you have to use a public bathroom," well I will tell you, It is a big deal. Having a public bathroom increases the changes of someone using the bathroom while they are sick with some type of stomach virus, or the very worst possible situation, being in the bathroom and someone comes in and gets sick while you are in there. Now over the years I have become much more comfortable using the bathroom, but it still freaks me at times. And I won't lie, if someone in my office wasn't "feeling well", I've gone down two flights of stairs to use the basement bathroom just to avoid using the bathroom they've been using, just in case.  Now is that irrational or what?

Something I wrote last month when my daughter was sick so you get an idea what goes through my head, even a week or two after an "incident":

Last Saturday, Monkey was sick with a stomach bug, then the following Wednesday the hubby got it. I was nauseous for two days in between those so I hope that was all it was. It is now Monday, a week and two days since Monkey was sick, five days after the hubby. I am still getting nervous. I keep telling myself that I probably had whatever they had but just never got “sick;” mainly so I don’t get “it” officially.  Here I am, Monday afternoon. I had a little tweak in my tummy earlier now I can’t eat lunch. I’m drinking an Elka Seltzer, popping the Pepto tablets and taking the anti-nausea pills. This is driving me nuts! How can gas bubbles cause such ruckus?

In my late teens/early twenties I would struggle with the idea of staying overnight at someone else's house. And one of the most common scenarios would be girls weekend, bachelorette party, or the big twenty-first birthday. I would never stay overnight at a hotel with a bunch of my girlfriends if there was drinking involved (which, after the age of 16, there was always booze involved.) I would hear stories from these girl that someone drank too much and puked in the sink, or someone was up puking all night and passed out on the floor. Most people think this would be funny to see, but for me, just hearing the stories horrified me. It took me many years to trust that my main core group of girlfriends will stay somewhat responsible enough to avoid getting that intoxicated. But there are always those few situations, where someone drinks a bit more than I would call "safe" (Hooker, you know who you are) and I would have anxiety galore before finally falling asleep for the night.

Now I have wrote about a few of the instances where this phobia comes into play, but I don't expect other people to change how they talk and live their life. I should have no say as to how much someone drinks in a night (except my husband, Sorry babe). And I am not going to go around telling friends and co-workers to stop mentioning illnesses all together, it's not all about me. Would I love to hop on Facebook one day and not read about someones kid or husband throwing up all night, or hearing my daycare tell me kids were sick that day, of course I would love it all to stop, but that's not the reality. I want to learn to face this fear and grow to control how my body and brain react to those thoughts.
 

I have kept this fear a secret up till just recently, when I learned it had a name, and that I was no where near the only person affected by this fear. I will discuss in a later post how I learned about this phobia, and the whole community of people out there that has it as well. Looking at blogs and Facebook groups of people struggling with the same thing has made me be able to start talking about it out loud. I still feel like a fool when trying to explain it to someone, but I guess if it's helping me by talking about it, those people can just suck it up. 

                                                                                   

I guess the main reason why I finally got the guts to post about this was because I am confident there are other Emets out there struggling the same as I am. Maybe you never knew the name of this before, or maybe you just need to know there are others going through the same thing you are.


But the other reason is that I want you to remind yourself that what you say can affect people. And when someone says they are afraid of something, even if it's as silly as a spider, or vomit, that maybe, just maybe it truly is a subconscious fear.


Through this blog I want to continue posting experiences with my struggle with Emetophobia. Hopefully one day I can post on here that I have finally fought and won over this fear and I can call myself "cured."

I want to thank the people that have helped me through this so far, especially my mother. She is probably the only person I have ever been completely honest about this fear with, and for that, thank you.

And to the many that have just learned from this blog that I had this fear, I hope that you don't look at me any different, or think I'm more crazy than before. I am open about talking about it, I am no longer ashamed to admit I am afraid of something

Until next time, everyone stay healthy, keep the puking discussion to a minimum, and Happy Holiday's!

Monkey's in my Closet

So I started this post a few months ago, but I wanted to finish it, so here goes.

After Monkey's second birthday we decided it was about time to get her into a big girl bed. Surprisingly she never really tried to climb out of her crib till right before we switched. We figured it would be best to switch before we have a bruised head, or broken arm.

We got one of the bunk beds from Kyle's parents place and re-stained it, bought a new mattress and went shopping for sheets/blankets. All three of us went shopping, but Monkey and hubby picked it all out. They decided to go with the "Littlest  Pet Shop" theme blanket set, but mostly because they have kitties on them. She was so excited to play on her new big girl bed when we got home and made the bed. She was jumping and running all over her new bed, which is why I chose to add the guard rail up.

Now there were a few reasons we chose to put her in the big bed when we did, the most obvious was that she was just growing out of the crib, but one of the reasons was because she started putting up a huge fight at night when going to bed. Now Monkey has always been a good sleeper (once she got off the tit anyways). We have always had a strict bedtime, and fighting about it was unacceptable. However lately bedtime was getting to be no fun. She would run away from me when I brought out the PJ's, hide to avoid getting her night time diaper on, and kick and scream the entire way up the stairs. I would obviously always win, since she always ended up going to sleep, alone, and in her own bed; but it was becoming a very stressful nightly ritual that I needed to get rid of.

So I was shock when we setup the new bed and she was all the sudden excited to go to bed on her own. With no screaming, kicking, or bruised shins (mine, not hers). It was like a miracle. And every night she would go up stairs, I was just waiting for the day she would learn that once the lights went out she could still get out of bed, which actually took several weeks.

So then it started. She realized there was no one holding her down forcing her to stay in bed. She started to play. And Play. And Play. Now I always left her room pretty boring, and mainly for this reason. I didn't want this room to be a play room, it was for resting only. And actually, from what I have read and heard from other people, she really didn't stay up playing for very long. Some kids can stay up till 3/4 in the morning just playing in their room the first few weeks after switching from crib to bed. That wasn't her, I wouldn't let it. We just had to keep going up there ever half hour or so and remind her it was bed time and that she had to go to sleep.

Well one night when I checked on Monkey, I opened up her bedroom door and there she was face first in the middle of the floor sleeping. We aren't sure if she was in the middle of playing and zonked out? or couldn't figure out how to get back into bed on her own (because most of the time we were the one's actually putting her in her bed). I thought it was funny, but that's what kids do I guess right? Well the very next day Kyle went upstairs to check on Monkey and I heard him laughing at the top of the steps. I went up to see what the big deal was and he was standing in front of her door. He couldn't open the door. Our Monkey was sleeping on the floor right behind the door so we couldn't open it. I almost fell down the stairs laughing. Well I ended up having to be the bad guy. So here I am, pushing the door open while sliding Monkey across the floor just to get into room to put her into bed.

This was not the end. So the next day when I went up to check, she was sleeping her her closet. I thought at first she had just tipped over after playing with her dolls in the closet, but she ended up there the next night and the next; in which ever night I would pick her up and move her back into her bed. There was a few times where she woke up after me moving her and she got mad and made me put her back in her closet. After that, I knew there must be something she liked in her closet more than her bed. I know it wasn't that comfy floor of hers, by golly that is the hardest carpet I have ever knelt on (no comments please). Maybe it was more confined and she felt safer in the closet? I will never know. I tried figuring out whether I should put her crib mattress in the closet, which would probably be a perfect fit, lay some blankets down, so when she goes in there it's at least somewhat soft, or pull everything out of there and make it as uncomfortable as possible? I decided not to make it too comfy in there, because I didn't want to encourage this behavior, even though right now it seems pretty harmless. Could you imagine sleep-overs in a few years if this habit wasn't broken? I can just hear that conversation with the other parent? After a few days I did end up laying a few blankets down on the floor of the closet (I'm not that mean of a mommy). But every night when we went up to bed I would ask her to go lay in her big girl bed. I never really gave her the OK to sleep in her closet, except for those few desperate times where I bargained with her so she would go to sleep, she was never really told she couldn't sleep in there.

So after a few weeks of my Monkey sleeping in her closet (or at least starting her night in there), Kyle came home from a weekend of hunting and we decided to tell her that he would be very proud of her if she could sleep all night in her big girl bed. That big girls don't sleep in closets. That very night she agreed to go to sleep in her big bed, and every night after that, except for an exception or two when she woke up in the middle of the night and climbed down and into her closet. I was able to remove the blankets from the floor in there and move on. So instead of having Monster's in my closet, I had Monkey's.

She was so excited for her new big girl bed!

First night her her own bed.
Sleeping like a toddler (sorry, couldn't turn the picture)

 

Wake up sleepy head.
First Morning waking up in her new bed.

Not sure if she's a morning person?